It sounds harmless — But THESE phrases keep inequality alive

In day-to-day conversations, gender inequality doesn’t sound like a slur or scream. Often, it slips in politely. It hides behind well-meaning jokes, workplace banter, and compliments. But make no mistake: language is culture’s engine. The words we drop into meetings, social media captions, or family chats can subtly reinforce centuries of power imbalance. Here are four common phrases we still hear (or say) that help keep gender inequality alive— and what we should be saying instead:

1. “Wow, your husband babysits the kids!”

If a father “babysits” his own kids, who owns the primary responsibility? This phrase treats caregiving as a women’s job, with men stepping in as volunteers rather than co-parents. It implies that a father’s presence in parenting is optional or extraordinary, while a mother’s is expected and invisible. This framing quietly reinforces the gendered division of labour at home, which then spills over into the workplace. Women are frequently overlooked for promotions due to persistent assumptions that they will be more burdened by family obligations—assumptions that are seldom applied to men. A more accurate and equitable way to describe parental roles is to say, “They share parenting equally,” which recognizes both partners as fully responsible caregivers instead of glorifying any one parent taking accountability.

2. “She’s too emotional to lead”

We don’t always realize it, but calling women “too emotional” is often code for “too human”. We don’t always realize it, but calling women “too emotional” is often code for “too human.” Emotional expression, when it comes from women, is frequently perceived as a sign of weakness, even when it reflects authenticity or strong conviction. This bias adds to harmful stereotypes in professional environments, where male leaders may hesitate to recruit more women onto their teams—not because of a lack of skill or competence but simply owing to ingrained gendered assumptions. But leadership isn’t about suppressing emotion; it’s about managing it effectively. Research shows that emotional intelligence is a key leadership trait. Yet, women are penalized for demonstrating the very qualities that help leaders connect, communicate, and resolve conflict. Rather than questioning a woman’s emotional expression, a more accurate and constructive way to describe her leadership is: “She leads with empathy and strength.”

3. “I’m not a feminist, but…”

This phrase appears frequently, especially online—and is often followed by a statement in support of equal rights. Yet it reflects a lingering discomfort with the word feminist itself. Decades of misrepresentation have distorted feminism into something extreme or antagonistic, overshadowing its true purpose: the belief that men and women deserve equal rights and opportunities. By distancing ourselves from the term, we unintentionally weaken its political and cultural impact, making it easier for institutions to disregard the movement’s goals. It also reinforces the notion that advocating for gender equality is somehow controversial, even when we fundamentally agree with its principles. A more accurate and empowering alternative is to say, “I believe in gender equality — and that makes me a feminist.”

4. “Boys will be boys”

Though it may sound harmless or even nostalgic, this phrase is often used to excuse problematic behaviour such as aggression, entitlement, or emotional withdrawal. More concerningly, it normalizes these actions, suggesting that such behaviour is an unavoidable part of boyhood. By dismissing misbehaviour as inevitable, we undermine the importance of accountability in boys’ development while simultaneously holding girls to stricter behavioural standards—reinforcing a gendered double standard from an early age. This kind of messaging restricts all: it stunts boys’ emotional growth and places girls in the role of fixer, forgiver, or silent observer. A more constructive approach is to say, “Let’s hold everyone to the same standard,” emphasizing fairness, responsibility, and shared expectations for all children.

Why This Matters

Language doesn’t just reflect culture — it moulds it. The everyday phrases we use can quietly reinforce gender roles, normalize inequality, and limit what people believe they can be or do. If we want real progress, it’s not enough to change laws or policies. We also need to challenge the subtle messages in our conversations that hold old biases in place. Changing how we speak is a small but powerful step toward a more equal world — one where everyone is seen, heard, respected and valued. Authored by: Madhura DasGupta Sinha, Founder & CEO, Aspire For Her