Decode the Hidden Meanings of British Polite-isms: What Your Colleagues Really Mean |
Human beings are fascinating creatures. Despite having an extensive vocabulary at our disposal, we often choose to express our true feelings through indirect phrases, especially when aiming to avoid confrontation or discomfort. This delicate art of saying one thing while meaning another is particularly evident in British culture.
What does the study say?
A recent study by Trinity College London sheds light on this phenomenon, revealing that British conversations are frequently peppered with “polite-isms“—phrases designed to mask genuine emotions and sidestep potential awkwardness. The survey, which involved 2,000 UK adults, found that 83% of participants actively avoid confrontation, leading them to use such expressions regularly.
On average, Britons employ about 14 of these polite-isms daily, with many admitting they serve as tools to prevent unnecessary tension. These are phrases like, “Sounds fun, I’ll let you know,” which actually means “Absolutely not,” or the classic “No rush, whenever you have a minute,” which loosely translates to “This should’ve been done yesterday.”
Dr. Ben Beaumont, Head of English Language Teacher Strategy & Publishing at Trinity College London, commented on the findings:
“Polite-isms are a fascinating feature of communication, used extensively in the UK, and often reflecting our preference to be indirect to avoid confrontation.”
Interestingly, this isn’t a modern trend. Examples of such indirect communication can be traced back to ancient texts like “Beowulf,” composed between the 7th and 9th centuries.
So what do these charming turns of phrase actually mean? Let’s decode some of Britain’s most commonly used polite-isms—and the brutally honest translations they conceal:
Top 10 British polite-isms (and what they actually mean)
- “Ooh, could I just squeeze past you?” — Translation: “Get out of my way.”
- “Sounds fun, I’ll let you know.” — Translation: “I’m not coming.”
- “I beg your pardon?” — Translation: “What the hell did you just say?”
- “Sorry, I’m a bit busy right now!” — Translation: “Please leave me alone.”
- “No rush, whenever you have a minute.” — Translation: “Please hurry up.”
- “With all due respect…” — Translation: “You’re wrong, and here’s why.”
- “As per my last email…” — Translation: “I told you this already.”
- “Sorry, could you say that last bit again?” — Translation: “I wasn’t listening to a word you were saying.”
- “I hear what you’re saying.” — Translation: “I completely disagree with you.”
- “Not to worry!” — Translation: “This is a disaster, but I’ll pretend everything is fine.”
Not the same case online
The study found these phrases pop up most in the workplace, with 50% of respondents using them around colleagues. But they’re just as common among friends, used by 43% of those surveyed. A third of people even confessed that these sugar-coated expressions make them laugh—perhaps because we all recognize the shared charade.
Interestingly, our love for politeness seems to be language-specific. Around 45% of bilingual respondents say they find it much easier to say a blunt ‘no’ when speaking in a foreign tongue. Online, the British tend to be a little less restrained: 25% admit they’re more direct digitally than in person. Still, a third of people say reading their own words back on a screen makes them more conscious of what they’re saying.
How have we complicated ‘please’?
Another study, this time published in Social Psychology Quarterly by UCLA researchers, suggests that “please” is not quite the politeness panacea we think it is. It’s used less frequently than expected, and typically only when someone anticipates resistance to a request.
Lead author Andrew Chalfoun explains: “Saying ‘please’ may run the risk of sounding pushy or dubious about another’s willingness to help.” So, far from a universal politeness hack, it can sometimes backfire—especially if misapplied to a situation where the other person is already inconvenienced.
