6 most common lies people tell in bedroom that could be harming your relationship
We have all been there, caught in that awkward moment where honesty might hurt feelings or bruise egos but when it comes to intimacy, those little white lies might be doing more harm than good. From faked climaxes to exaggerated enthusiasm, bedroom fibs are surprisingly common, yet rarely discussed openly.Emily Conway, CEO of Dragon Toys, has spent years understanding intimate relationships and sexual wellness. “People think they’re being kind by telling these lies, but they’re actually creating barriers to genuine connection,” she explained. Conway revealed the most frequently told bedroom lies and explained why breaking free from these patterns could reshape your intimate life.
“I came”
The classic fake orgasm tops the list for good reason. Whether it is to spare a partner’s feelings or simply end an encounter that’s not working, this lie stems from a desire to avoid awkwardness. People fake it because they feel pressure to perform or don’t want to hurt their partner’s ego, but this creates a cycle where your partner thinks they’re doing everything right, so nothing improves. “Faking orgasms might seem kind in the moment, but it’s actually counterproductive,” said Conway. “Your partner can’t improve if they don’t know what’s really working for you.”
“I love it when you do that”
This enthusiasm faker often comes from wanting to please or boost confidence. The psychology behind it is that it is common for people to struggle with disappointing others, even in intimate moments. They would rather endure discomfort than risk making their partner feel inadequate. “It’s natural to want to make your partner feel good about themselves, but pretending to enjoy something you don’t will only lead to problems down the line,” Conway explained.
“You’re the best I’ve ever had”
While flattering, this exaggeration usually masks insecurity or inexperience. Some tell this lie to make partners feel special, while others use it to avoid uncomfortable questions about past relationships. It is meant to be reassuring but it sets unrealistic expectations. “Excessive praise can actually create performance pressure,” noted Conway. “Genuine compliments about specific things that actually felt good are much more meaningful.”
“I’m fine”
Perhaps the most damaging lie of all. When someone says they are fine during intimacy but they’re experiencing pain, discomfort or emotional disconnection, they are prioritising their partner’s experience over their own wellbeing. This often comes from fear of being seen as difficult or ruining the moment. “Your comfort and pleasure matter just as much as your partner’s,” Conway emphasised. “Good partners want you to speak up if something isn’t working.”
“I don’t need foreplay”
This rush-to-the-main-event lie typically stems from wanting to appear low-maintenance or sexually confident. In reality, most people benefit from proper warm-up time. Skipping foreplay to seem eager often backfires because it reduces pleasure for everyone involved. “Foreplay isn’t just nice to have. It’s often necessary for proper arousal and enjoyment,” said Conway. “There’s nothing wrong with needing time to get in the mood.”
“That never happens”
Performance anxiety creates this cover-up lie. Whether it is premature ejaculation, difficulty maintaining arousal, or other common issues, people lie to save face. The irony? These are normal experiences that become bigger problems when we pretend they don’t exist. “Sexual hiccups are completely normal,” Conway reassured. “Acknowledging them reduces anxiety and often helps resolve the issue faster than pretending everything’s perfect.”Bringing her expertise to the same, Emily Conway, CEO of Dragon Dildo, said, “The biggest misconception is that honesty kills romance, but it’s actually the opposite. When you create space for authentic communication, intimacy improves dramatically. Instead of saying ‘I came’ when you didn’t, try ‘that felt amazing, but I’m not quite there yet’. Rather than ‘I love that’ when you don’t, suggest ‘I’d love to try something different’.“She recommended, “The key is timing and tone. You don’t need to have deep relationship talks during heated moments, but creating opportunities for honest feedback afterwards makes all the difference. Partners who communicate openly about what works and what doesn’t report much higher satisfaction levels. Remember, your pleasure matters just as much as theirs, and good partners want you to enjoy yourself genuinely, not just pretend to.”
