Zodiac Signs as Types of Delusions

Everyone’s got a little delulu, but each sign has a

signature

flavor of it. Some live in romantic comas, others think they’re the main character in a show that doesn’t exist. Welcome to the cosmic asylum—take a seat, the stars have

issues

.

Pisces

–

The Love Story That Never Happened

Pisces is in a committed relationship with someone who liked their story three weeks ago. No dates. No conversations. Just vibes, a playlist, and a three-act fantasy with a soft-focus lens.

Sagittarius

–

The “This Will Work Out” Adventure Delusion

Sagittarius will move across the world with $3 and a dream because a tarot card said “change is coming.” Their entire plan? Trust the universe and ignore Google Maps.

Leo

–

The Spotlight Isn’t Enough

Delusion
Leo thinks every room is a stage, every party is a press event, and every person is secretly obsessed. Will mentally rehearse award speeches for arguments they haven’t had yet.

Libra

–

The Rom-Com Life Plot That Requires No Effort

Libra thinks one flirtatious glance = eternal love. No need for communication or effort. The universe

will

bring it back full circle… right?

Cancer

–

The “We’re Emotionally Married” Delusion

Cancer gets attached through eye contact and trauma bonding. They’re planning anniversaries for a situationship that’s not even mutual on Instagram.

Taurus

–

The Stability in Chaos Delusion

Taurus stays in toxic patterns longer than most shows stay on Netflix because “comfort > peace.” If it’s familiar, it’s fine—even if it’s an emotional house fire.

Gemini

–

The “Everyone’s In Love With Me” Glitch

Gemini assumes every interaction is flirtation and every text is layered with meaning. Even the “k.” Especially the “k.”

Virgo

–

The Fixer Fantasy

Virgo thinks they can turn red flags into throw blankets. Just a little love, logic, and Excel spreadsheets, and everything will be fine. (It won’t.)

Aries

–

The “No Regrets” Lie

Aries makes impulsive moves and calls it growth. Burned a bridge? That was just “self-discovery.” Fell in love overnight? “Character development.”

Capricorn

–

The Grindset Cult Mentality

Capricorn thinks feelings are distractions and healing is optional. They’ll cry in spreadsheets and call it therapy.

Aquarius

–

The “No One Gets Me” Indie Plot Delusion

Aquarius believes they’re too complex to be understood. Thinks they invented existential dread and niche playlists.

Scorpio

–

The “Everyone’s Suspicious” Spiral

Scorpio doesn’t fall in love—they enter full surveillance mode. One wrong emoji and it’s betrayal. Fully convinced they’re being betrayed in 4K.