Most Overprotective Mothers Are Born on These Dates – Good Luck Sneaking Out

Some mothers are

chill.

Others have

the surveillance skills of the FBI, the instincts of a bloodhound, and a sixth sense that activates when something is even slightly suspicious.

If someone was born on these dates,

chances are, their mother is tracking their location as we speak.

January 13 – The Walking Lie Detector

This mother

knows every trick in the book.

Trying to fake being sick?

She checked the forehead before the idea even formed.

Claiming to be at a friend’s house?

She called the friend’s mother 10 minutes ago.

Lying?

She already has the proof ready.

March 4 – The Personal Bodyguard

This mother’s

biggest fear is the outside world.

She has

pepper spray, a list of emergency contacts, and probably sat through self-defense classes just to make sure no one messes with her child.

Every outing requires

a background check on every person involved.

May 13 – The Overthinker-in-Chief

She asks

way too many questions.

Who? What? Where? Why?

How long? With whom? Their family history? Are they allergic to peanuts?

She makes

worst-case scenarios her entire personality.

July 22 – The “No One Is Good Enough” Club President

Dating?

She already hates the person.

Friends?

They are bad influences.

Teachers?

Not teaching properly.

Every person in her child’s life is

a suspect until proven innocent.

October 13 – The 24/7 Stalker (Out of Love, Of Course)

She knows

the exact moment school ends, what time her child should be home, and how long it takes to get there (traffic included).

If anyone is

10 minutes late,

expect a search party and

five missed calls.

December 5 – The Helicopter Pilot

Personal space?

Nonexistent.

She checks

grades, calls teachers, “helps” with homework by doing half of it, and monitors everything like a CEO micromanaging an intern.

No Matter the Date – Mothers Will Always Protect

At the end of the day,

every mother is a bodyguard, therapist, and life coach rolled into one.

Whether someone’s birthday is listed here or not,

mothers will always have a black belt in “knowing everything.”