How Each Zodiac Sign Deals with Relatives Asking About Marriage

Because “Beta, when are you settling down?” is a national hobby.

Aries

Declares war. Responds like it’s a Fast & Furious trailer: full throttle, zero brakes. Might challenge the uncle to a push-up contest just to distract him.

Taurus

Smiles politely while internally screaming. Goes home, lights a scented candle, and stress-eats six samosas like a coping ritual.

Gemini

Talks in circles. Brings up Elon Musk, moon landings, and chai recipes—anything but the topic. By the end, the relative forgets the question and Gemini forgets the conversation.

Cancer

Cries before the question’s even over. Then asks for a hug. Feels emotionally attacked but will still pack leftover laddoos for that same aunty.

Leo

Answers with a full-blown monologue: lighting, entry music, and dramatic pauses included. “Marriage? Only when it matches the grandeur of a Sanjay Leela Bhansali film.”

Virgo

Prepares a spreadsheet of reasons, timelines, and psychological stats explaining why marriage now is inefficient. Also hands out laminated flowcharts.

Libra

Tries not to offend. Says “soon” with a perfect smile while dying inside. Changes the subject to someone else’s wedding outfit.

Scorpio

Stares. Silent. Intense. The relative will either never ask again or question their life decisions. There is no in-between.

Sagittarius

Laughs and says, “First, need to hike the Himalayas and find inner peace.” Then actually does it. Returns six months later with a tan and zero regrets.

Capricorn

Treats it like a job interview. Gives practical updates, financial goals, and a PowerPoint presentation. Might accidentally get a marriage proposal from the relative’s neighbor’s cousin.

Aquarius

“Marriage is a social construct.” Delivers a TED Talk on individuality, then walks away mid-sentence to invent a solar-powered nose ring.

Pisces

Imagines the perfect rom-com scenario, then reality hits. Mumbles something poetic and disappears into the kitchen to help with dishes—and existential dread.