What If Planets Had Middle-Class Indian Parents?

Middle-class Indian parents are a universal phenomenon. They expect straight-A report cards, IIT-level ambition, and enough sanskaar to make a Bollywood mom proud. Now, imagine if planets had to deal with the same parental expectations.

Mercury – “Why Are You Always Talking?”

Fast, smart, and full of facts, but that’s not good enough. Parents constantly remind Mercury to “talk less, study more” and suggest engineering because “communication jobs don’t pay.”

Venus – “Stop Wasting Time on Looks”

Loves luxury, fashion, and aesthetics. Parents are

not impressed

. “Who will marry you if all you do is dress up?” Venus still spends hours perfecting the

perfect

outfit while getting lectures about how “beauty won’t feed a family.”

Earth – “Sharma Ji Ka Beta”

The overachiever, balancing work, family, and keeping everyone alive. But guess what?

Never good enough

. “Look at Mars, so strong. Look at Jupiter, so wise. What are you doing?”

Mars – “Focus That Anger on Exams”

Aggressive, passionate, and always ready to fight. Parents want all that energy redirected toward

cracking UPSC

. “If you’re so interested in fighting, why not become an IPS officer?”

Jupiter – “Beta, Knowledge Is Everything”

Loves wisdom, philosophy, and

teaching

others about everything. Parents are

proud

but still insist, “Teaching is fine, but government job ka socha?”

Saturn – “Work Harder, Struggle More”

The strict, disciplined one who

actually

follows all the rules. Parents don’t have complaints—except they think Saturn should struggle

even more

. “Suffering builds character,” they say, ignoring Saturn’s already 10-year-long internship phase.

Uranus – “Why Can’t You Be Normal?”

Rebellious, unconventional, and

just too weird

for middle-class standards. “Why purple hair? Why astrology? Why this rebellion?” Uranus has no answers—just vibes.

Neptune – “Daydreaming Won’t Pay the Bills”

Always lost in thoughts, poetry, and unrealistic dreams. Parents deliver their classic dialogue: “Stop daydreaming and focus on a stable job. What will people say?”

Pluto – “Nobody Remembers You”

Was once an important part of the family, now ignored. Parents still think Pluto should “stay in touch” even though everyone

pretends

it’s not there.

Most Relatable Award: Earth.

Because no matter what it does, Sharma Ji’s beta is

always

better.